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Did you know that suicide is the biggest killer of men up to the age of 49 in the UK? In his blog, Suffolk-born military intelligence analyst Joe Tyrrell talks about his struggles with mental health while being in the army.
“There’s a certain perception of being in the military. It’s a male-dominated industry in which you are expected to be in peak physical and mental condition at all times.
“It never occurred to me for a second that I would become victim to mental health issues.
“In all honesty, I never really understood it. I’d had a few friends go through some awful periods of low moods and I always tried to be supportive.
“It was just never something I thought would happen to me.
“I’d always assumed that mental health issues only came about if something tragic happened, but I realise now this isn’t the case.
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“Last year, I obtained a pretty serious injury to my ankle which prevented me from doing any exercise. As someone who was in peak physical condition, I gained weight quickly and things went into a downward spiral from there.
“Not being able to do my job as well as I could started to affect me and I began to have some horrible thoughts in my head.
“I thought I was worthless and a burden. I never spoke up because I thought I was being over-dramatic. I couldn’t sleep – I’d maybe get 1-2 hours a night for weeks and I stopped taking care of myself.
“I completely shut down. I made silly mistakes at work – and these mistakes only added to the reasons I thought I was absolutely worthless.
“It wasn’t until my sister asked me what was wrong that I actually talked about what was going on. She helped me write a letter to my boss and I got booked in to see a doctor the very next day.
“The initial appointment was tough. I went back to my room and cried for two hours – I’d been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety and insomnia.
“I was the lowest I’d ever been.
“At that point I wrote a note, telling my loved ones how much they meant to me and apologising for what I was about to do.
“As if by some sign, I’d written this note on the back of a mental health support pamphlet I had been given at the appointment. I rang the 24/7 support number.
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“A lot has changed since that call – nine months of stuff to be precise.
“The army were absolutely incredible in getting me the support I needed. The treatment and the understanding I received from them was amazing.
“I’m on medication – they’re not magical but they are really working for me. I’m in such a better place I can’t even describe it.
“Did you know men are three times for likely to take their own life? I nearly became a part of this statistic.
“Lads – we need to talk.
“I’m speaking up because we need to break this stigma of ‘manning up’ and being ‘tough’ as a man. In the army especially, where there’s a lot of the macho, keep your head down and march on kind of mentality.
“Talk to anyone. Just make sure you speak up. Break the stigma.”
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If you need support, you can contact the Samaritans 24/7 on 116 123 or CALM on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm – midnight (this service is aimed at men aged 15 – 35.
